2010 A Year in Reveiw

RYKER
It has been a great year for Ike so far. He was born. We are so lucky to have such a sweet baby join our family. He is just so pleasant. He is working on his first two teeth and is 7 months old. He is a great roller and I think he will be crawling soon. He is happy and smiling 95% of the time. If he fusses I just have to look at him and he is smiling again. He loves baby food vegetables and is not into fruits much. Prunes and bananas make him gag and shudder. He loves all of his older siblings and loves to watch the cats. He is also a very tactile baby. He loves to feel anything. The other night while I was rocking him I rubbed the palm of his hand softly and he smiled himself to sleep. I am so pleased with my sweet baby and have really enjoyed him immensely.

MACKY KAY RAWLINGS JEPPESEN(this is what he says when you ask him what his name is)
Mac is Mac. He is so funny and wild. He doesn't like to listen too much and I think it is just that his mind is moving too fast to the next thing that he can't stop to listen. He is such a fun kid. He is our dare-devil and reminds me that it is okay for him to do dangerous stuff because "I am amazing, Mom". Mac is looking forward to pre-school next year and talks about it often. He did go through a bit of sibling rivalry with the new baby and he still likes to pretend that he is a baby. He loves to play the part of the baby when Anikka has friends over. He is so funny and I sure love having him in our family. He is good, smart and AMAZING.

BENNETT
This has been a banner year for Ben. He turned 6 in July and headed to Kindergarten in the fall. Shortly after school began I received a phone call from his teacher. She was asking permission to work with Ben on her reading recovery program/class that she was taking. She said that because he tested so well with his literacy and his personality that she would love to work with him. She also needed my permission because they would be observed by the others in the class at the end of the semester. It was so wonderful. I would drive him to school Monday through Wednesday a half hour early and they would work together on reading. I was able to go and observe with the others on the observation day. It was so neat to see Ben work with his teacher and their rapport. I loved hearing the comments that the others made about Ben and his teacher. He is reading at a level E and they want kids to be at a level C when they start 1st grade. He also got such a great report card, all 4's with the exception of two 3's. I am so proud of him and wish that I could take all the credit for him being so smart and such a good reader but it is all Ben. He is such a good, smart and wonderful boy.

ANIKKA
Anikka is growing up so much. She turned 9 in June. Anikka is the best big sister that three boys could ever ask for. She watches out for her brothers so well, especially Ben. She and Ben have such a good relationship. It would not surprise me if the grow up to be best friends. Anikka is also doing well in school. She got straight A's on her report card. She continues to amaze me spiritually. I love to hear her get up and bear her testimony. She is so thoughtful and kind in all she does. She has started writing poetry and songs lately. She also loves making paper crafts. I love her creativity and the way it is starting to manifest itself. I love having a good and sweet daughter.

BROOKE
I have had a good, sometimes bumpy year. The first part of my year was spent waiting on Ryker's arrival and the last half of my year has been spent focusing inward on our family. I am thankful on Ike's good timing of not being born on my birthday. He was a great Mother's Day present. I am enjoying motherhood quite a bit more this last year. I have spent more time living in the moments and less time looking for what is going to happen next. I try hard to be a good mother, a good wife, and a good person, sadly this does not leave me any room to be a good housekeeper. The poor house suffers. Better that than my kids. Recently I have been participating in my Relief Society's challenge "Forty Days Closer to Christ". It is a challenge where we read the Book of Mormon in forty days. It has been hard but I really wanted to show myself that I can do hard things and I will be able to let my kids know that they can do hard things as well. I have learned a lot and feel like I have grown. I feel like I am a better wife and friend to my great husband.

RYAN
This year Ryan started a new job in January. He loves his new job. He feels useful. He thinks that he is able to use his unique skill set more fully at this company. Along with his new job he inherited new habits. He has been working out 5 times a week with his bosses. He is stronger than ever and that is saying a lot. He feels better, too. He paticipated in a mini triathlon in March and was happy to not be the last person to finish. He is still the most amazing person that I know. So incredibly talented and smart. I love being married to him. He impresses me daily and is a rock for me. I can really depend on him.

Ma Ma Ma Ma

Ryker said Ma Ma today. Actually it was ma ma ma ma ma. But still I was happy that he can copy these sounds. He is growing up so fast and I love it and miss it all at the same time. Mostly I love it. He is very funny and seems to love to touch things. The other day when I layed him down for tummy time, he bunched up the blanket that he was laying on so that he could touch the carpet. He then just rubbed open hands up and down just to feel the texture of the carpet. He just really loves to feel things. Babies sure are fun.

The Evolution of Ben's Toys

Ben is a collector. Not to be confused with Anikka's hoarding. Ben is very precise in what he collects. He knows what he collects and so help you if something goes missing or if I go in his room to "clean" aka throw away stuff. It all started in Nursery. Ryan and I were called to nursery shortly before Ben was old enough to attend. We started to notice that the moment the toys came out Ben would start his search for all of the Fisher Price farm animals in the same set. Once he had them all he would just hold them until it was time to clean up. His obsession moved onto the Seven Dwarfs. Some how he found one little 2 inch figurine and that is all it took. He soon acquired all seven of the dwarfs and knew all of their names. He carried them around for months. He was always so cute during his obsessions and so excited when Mimi (my Mom) would buy him something else. They soon made weekly trips to the thrift store in search for more "characters" for Ben. His love of the characters grew into Super Heroes and soon he had many little super hero figures. The Super Heroes grew into Star Wars. His Star Wars phase still continues slightly to this day. He and Mimi spent countless hours on ebay searching for new guys. I don't know very many 4 year olds that can navigate ebay as well as he could. He knew to look for free shipping and under $5. And the joy he would get when they won their bids. If he becomes an ebay addict and maxes out all of his credit cards when he is older I will totally be blaming Mimi. His toy circle continued to grow until it encompassed the Wii. All of the Wii Lego games which are really fun helped pave the way for his new obsession of Legos. I don't like Legos they are so small and get everywhere but it is now all he wants and all that I have heard about today. I do however really appreciate they way that he takes care of all of his toys and for his focus on all the stuff he likes. Evolution is a good thing for Ben.

No Lack of Confidence Here

Today on our little walk I told Mac that he was being a good boy for sitting so good in the stroller and his response to me was " and how wonderful I am." I said "yes, you are wonderful." He then said " and I am amazing!". Yes Mac you are amazing, and so humble.

Songs

As each one of my kids have been babies I have sung them their own lullabys'. I wanted to write them down so the kids will remember the ones that they have.

Anikka's song goes like this:
Rock a bye

Don't you cry

We'll go down to Grammies

Up on the hill

Down by the mill

To see the little lambies.

Ben's song is the mocking bird lullaby

Hush little baby, Don't say a Word

Mama's going to buy you a Mockingbird

If that Mockingbird won't sing

Mama's going to buy you a Diamond Ring

If that Diamond Ring turns Brass

Mama's going to buy you a Looking Glass

If that looking Glass gets Broke

Mama's going to buy you a Billy Goat

If that Billy Goat runs away

Mama's going to buy you anotherDay.

Mac's lullaby was very hard to find. When he was almost 4 months old I heard the song Edelwiess and that was a perfect lullaby for him.

Edelwiess, Edelweiss

Every morning you greet me

Small and white, clean and bright

You seem happy to meet

Blossoms of snow

May you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, Edelweiss

Bless my Homeland forever.

Ike's lullaby seemed to just come right away. It is a Church song and it is just his.

We have been born
as Nephi of old
to goodly parents
who love the Lord.
We have been taught
and we understand
that we must do
as the Lord commands.
We are as the army of Helaman
We have been taught in our youth
and we will be the Lord's misionaries
to bring the world it's truth.

I love that each song was just a good fit for each child and I love that they will still ask me to sing them their songs occasionally. I hope it helps them know that each one of them are so special to their Dad and to me. We love all of them so much.

Postpartum + Exhaustion = Emotional Mom

So, I am pretty emotional as it is and it is just worse when I am getting about 5 hours of sleep a night. Yesterday I needed a emotional release and as I was crying I made a noise that startled the baby. Ryker looked up at me with a furrowed brow, he really looked at me and then he smiled. It just warmed my heart right up and it just makes me know that he really is supposed to be in our family. He is such a great baby and a really good grunter.

Trust

On the way home from pre-school today Ben told me "Soon I will be six and I will FINALLY be trusted to do things that kids that are trusted get to do. It all starts when your six." After further inquiry into what he will get to do when he is six and trusted he said "I will be able to be play with friends and have more chores." Bring on the more chores yoo hoo!

I Am Surviving, Barely

I am exhausted. Ryker is a good baby and he is sleeping about 18 hours a day and eating really well. I am sleeping about 5 hours a day and that is really interrupted sleep. I am not getting any naps in because I have three other children who feel that they need attention and parenting. I don't like naps any way. I love how in just a few short weeks my brain cannot remember not having a new baby. It just seems like he has always been here. This is the last week of school and I am excited to be able to sleep in and not have any where to go. On the other hand I hope that the children do not get too bored and start fighting all the time. I think they will get a little stir crazy this year.

Mac is having a rough time getting used to a new brother. The other kids were really happy about having a new brother but Mac really liked being the baby of the family and is not happy being displaced. Ryan is such an amazing father and husband and keeps me sane and helps the kids through this new transition in our lives. He is great.

Yesterday Ryker and I had our two week check up. I forgot the PKU card so we have to go back on Friday which is good because Ryker weighed in at 9 lbs and 5 oz. which was his birth weight and that makes the doctor nervous and he wants to check Ryker's weight again and make sure he is growing well. He did grow 1 1/2 inches. I am trying to savor all of these little moments since we are done having kids but it is so hard for me to not think about life in a few months and years and to want every one to get a little bit older. I need to remember the moments and really live in them.

Ryker Kent Jeppesen

I had a wonderful Mother's Day. One of pain and bliss and joy. I woke up at 4:45 Sunday morning with a pretty strong contraction and a half/asleep memory of two previous ones that I needed to breathe through. I got out of bed and starting walking and timing the contractions. They were coming 5 minutes apart and were getting pretty strong so I woke Ryan up and got in the shower and I was wondering when to wake up the kids. Anikka's alarm went off at 6 so I told her to quickly get dressed because we were going up to Heber to have the baby. I think it freaked her out a little bit because she believed me when I told her we were going to have the baby the next daywhen I had a scheduled app. to have my membranes stripped. The ride up to Heber was fairly painful but not to long at all. Ryan kept trying to make jokes but since I was in labor I really did not find him to be too funny. I am pretty vocal through my contractions. I tend to say owwwww through the contraction but it really helps to get through the pain.

When we arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am I was taken right to the maternity room where they checked me and I was dialated to a 6 and I said all right let's get that epidural going. By the time I got the epidural and spinal combo I was already dialated to an 8 and they said we could really just go natural and it would be really quick and I said NO. I love epidurals and the epidural/spinal combo was really nice.

My sister Tawnya who was already here for the weekend came and was able to see to baby being born. I don't know how long I pushed but I only pushed through 4 or 5 3 minute long contractions and out came the baby. He tried to take a big deep breath too soon and sucked up a lot of mucus so they had to suction him out quite a bit. Ryker was born at 9:26 am and he was 9 lbs. 5 oz. and 20 1/2 in. long. The doctor was able to stay and get us all to a good place then he ran to go conduct Sacrament Meeting in his ward and then he came back to check on us.

So I spent the rest of the day really blissed out. It was all really good timing and such a great day to have the baby. I love especially that it was a year ago on Mother's Day that I recieved the prompting to have another baby and here he came on this Mother's Day.

Mac's Birthday

On April 30 Mac turned three! We sure love our little ball of fire. His hair is still white and he is very funny. Just the other day while using the bathroom he told Ryan that he was "a little sick in his reah." He loves his big brother Ben and is getting pretty excited to meet his new brother in a few days. We went to the Doctor for a well child check up and he was in the 95% in height and 25% in weight. He is tall and skinny. He is very active and is a bit of a bully to Ben only. He still expects his older siblings to run and fetch things for him even though he is perfectly capable of getting his own stuff. He is always friendly and polite. We are sure lucky to have him in our family.

No Baby Yet

Alas, I had a Dr. appointment yesterday and I was not yet ready to have a baby. I was at 2 1/2 cm. dialated and about 25% effaced. We did make an appointment to strip my membranes on Monday May 10 so I am sure that we will have the baby that day if I do not go into labor sooner on my own. I am hoping to have him on the 10th because it is somewhat planned and it is not my birthday yet. I am going to take it really easy (even more than before) this week. It is nice to have a really good excuse to not do the dishes.

Kids

Anikka is showing a lot of first child traits. She is very independent and bossy. She was able to go sleep over at her Grandparents home over the weekend. It was spur of the moment and when Mimi and Papa were invited out to dinner with their friends Anikka was able to go spend time with Uncle Matt and Aunt Meagan. Meagan took care of Anikka and treated her like a queen. After the special treatment of making her dinner(not that she doesn't have dinner made for her everyday) Anikka said "Wow Aunt Meagan you are treating me like a guest, I am just your niece." The next day was Sunday and Anikka went to Church with Mimi and Papa. Anikka likes to act older than she is, during Sunday School she bribed two loud boys to be quiet and listen with Papa's candy. Then during singing time all the women went to Relief Society and the Bishopric taught primary, Anikka volunteered to lead the music for a song that the men didn't really know. She really is not shy and probably is a little bossy. The way all older sisters are. I know because I have a bossy older sister. I also know that bossy older sisters are really awesome to have because they just know everything and give the best advice.

I have hope that I will have the baby next week. I hope that my body will progress enough that the Dr. will strip my membranes and that will start labor. I would like the baby to be born on May 3rd. I really hope that I get my way. The names have been narrowed down to two. We will take them into the delivery room. They are Ryker with the nickname of Ike, and Cooper with the nickname of Coop. Our family is divided with me and my extended family prefering Ryker and Ryan and his extended family prefering Cooper. We will just have to wait and see what he looks like.

Reminiscing

I hope it is no secret that I think my husband Ryan is the coolest thing in the world. I was just thinking about how we met. I really love to hear about how people met and how they knew they were in love. I want to write down the story of how we met so we can re-read it whenever we want. I first saw Ryan the very first Sunday of the begining of Fall semester way back in 1997. When my roommates and I walked in I saw him up on the stand ready to bless the Sacrament when it was time. I immediately pointed him out to my roomate as a possible love interest for me. I then continued to crush on him from afar and I tried to "put myself in posistions to be noticed by him. It wasn't until some weeks later that I was able to catch his eye and get myself on his list of girls to ask out that year (our girl to boy ratio was 3 to 1). I got a ride to Church that day with a neighbor and as we were leaving meetings that day Ryan said goodbye to our neighbor and I turned to give him my most winningest smile and he waved bye to me. I sighed loudly and our neighbor heard and said all right who do you have a crush on and I told him it was Ryan Jeppesen and he said, oh he is such a great guy I am so going to set you up. He introduced us that night at ward prayer and they had a class together the next day. Our neighbor, Ryan, asked my Ryan what he thought of the blond from last night and my Ryan said he thought I was cute. Neighbor Ryan told my Ryan that he needed to ask me out on a date. After school that day Ryan Steck came over and told me to make cookies and I immediately complied. I took those fresh cookies over to my Ryan's apartment and then left after a few minutes. That night at FHE Ryan asked me out on our first date for that Friday. I was so thrilled to be going on a date with him. I will post about our first date later but just for the record it has been really fun to sit and remember all those fun times and feelings.

Our Home at the Moment

Our home at the moment is a little messy and I don't care. I have pretty much stopped bending down to pick up things. I am fully in to the "kick things into the general direction of where they need to go" mode. Things are starting to come together for the baby. We had a preparatory Family Home Evening to try and get the kids used to the fact that there will be a new addition to our family and what to be ready for. Anikka was really not phased at all. She has been there and done that all ready but she is willing to learn to change diapers this time around. We had Ryan give Father's Blessings to each of us and it was really nice and it brought a lot of peace to each one of us. I went to the Doctor yesterday and I am almost dilated to a 2 which means nothing except that I am slowly making progress in the right direction. I still have some hope of maybe having a baby on the 3rd of May. I think that would be a good day but again my opinion does not mean too much when it comes to what the baby is going to do. I just want to have the baby before my birthday on the 11th, I do not want to share it with my child. I am going a little stir crazy. I am in a waiting period and I am just looking for something to do everyday to pass the time. I sure hope that the time passes more quickly than not.

Ryan's Birthday and Easter Sunday

Saturday April 3rd was Ryan's 35th birthday. Ryan as usual did not ask for anything and I was just too tired to think about anything fun to get him. Fortunately I was able to talk him into going shopping to find him a gift. We were able to get him a new outfit and then he was done with spending money before I could talk him into going to Best Buy. He was so nice to me and asked for chocolate dipped strawberries for his birthday cake so that was easy enough to pull off. We love Ryan and are so happy that he is in our lives, that he agreed to share his life with me and raise our kids together. Ryan is the best husband and father that we could ever ask for.

The next morning the kids woke up to Easter baskets filled with candy and that was the extent of our commercial celebration. It was really not a big deal. We then watched General Conference and enjoyed a nice day of worship. It is really nice to refocus over conference weekend. We are looking forward to this week of spring break and hope we do not get to sick of each other.

Freaked Out

I received a call from Heber Valley Medical Center yesterday to pre-register me for delivery, this is the hospital where I will have this baby and the hospital where all of our other kids were born. They called me because "their records show that I am due to have a baby next month." I said "well, yes in May, Wait that is next month." Insert a slightly hysterical giggle. I am having a baby NEXT MONTH and I feel so ill prepared. I am getting physically ready to get the baby out of my body but I am so not ready to bring him home. To be responsible for another new little life. To have FOUR kids. Four seems like a lot of kids. I don't even really have a name for him yet, just a lot of names that we are throwing around but nothing is sticking for sure yet. I am not nesting at all. The crib is not even up, to be fair we just moved Ben and Mac together last week and so we have to finish with that move before we start on the baby's room. I guess that I just don't feel ready at all, mostly scared. I am sure that it is just anxiety about the unknown. Will he be a good baby? Will Mac be nice to him? Will we ever make it once to Disneyland when the kids can all remember it? Well I guess that it is a lucky thing that I still have a month or so to get prepared and to find a name and get us all to a good place and welcome this baby to our family because we are stuck with each other and we wouldn't want it any other way.

Days 30 and 31

Day 30

1. I am grateful for being able to get my hair done. I really like to be pampered on occasion and the shampoo she uses smells so good.

2. I am grateful that Ben is such a good sick kid. He had a slight fever and a tummy ache and pretty much crashed on the couch all day.

3. I am grateful that Anikka is going to be starting piano lessons. I think it is just a good thing to know how to play the piano.

Day 31

1. I am so grateful for my Mom. She came over to watch the kids so Ryan and I could go to a work thing. The kids just absolutely love her. I really appreciate her sacrifices.

2. I am very grateful for Ryan's work. It is really a good place for him and he is happy to be working there.

3. I am grateful for this experience of gratitude. I think that it really carried me through some of the harder, more hormonal days and kept my spirits above the water. I don't know that it made me appreciate the things around me more but it did make me think more often about the things I am grateful for. Overall I am glad that I wrote all of these daily gratitude's down and I think that it will be such a good thing to read again and again.

Days 27, 28, and 29

Day 27

1. I am grateful for our neighborhood. On Saturday we went to a neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. There were 1400 eggs thrown on the ground for the kids to pick up. It was fun. Anikka got it and was off and running. Ben skipped the eggs and went straight to the loose candy all over the place. Mac filled the bottom of his basket and announced that he had enough and was done. They all really liked it.

2. I am grateful for our cats. Thor gave Mac a "kiss" by touching his nose to Mac's cheek. Mac's response was "ewww Thor yucky." We have some great cats.

3. I am grateful that the boys slept well in their shared room. This is the second time we that we have had them share a room and it went over so much better this time.

Day 28

1. I am grateful that Ryan did such a good job teaching Gospel Essentials on Sunday. I sure like to listen to him talk.

2. I am so grateful for my In-Laws. We had everyone there minus two kids and I sure missed those two. It was so good to see everyone and to catch-up. I married into such a great family. I am very lucky.

3. I am grateful for little conversations that make us laugh. When we were getting ready to leave last night Ryan told Mac that he was too tired to drive home and asked if Mac would drive home. Mac immediately said "sure I will be Dad and I will drive home and you be Mac and sit in Mac's seat. You start car first."

Day 29

1. I am grateful for a good nights sleep. I have not gotten a good nights sleep in a long time and I miss them and I cherish them.

2. I am grateful that Mac thinks "underwear is fun to wear" and yells that around the house often.

3. I am grateful for our house. It is nice to have shelter and to try and make sure our house is a home.

Day 26

1. I am grateful that I have a daughter. She is my only girl and I am sure glad that I have her. Girls are so fun to go shopping for. She also is so good to her little brothers.

2. I am grateful that all three children went to sleep well for me last night. Ryan went to a basketball game last night and so we had a night to ourselves and they all went to sleep, even Ben who insisted that he was going to stay up for Dad.

3. I am grateful for DVR's. I love that Ryan and I can record shows and watch them together later and not be interrupted by loud children.

Day 25

1. I am grateful that Ryan still finds me attractive, even though I am so ornery and scowling all the time. He still finds something behind the huge belly and frown to like.

2. I am grateful that it is sandal weather, or close enough to it for a pregnant woman to start wearing sandals. I love my KEEN sandals. They are comfortable.

3. I am very grateful that the boys play so nicely together. I especially like it when they play together in the same room but with separate toys. There is little chance of any fighting when they are not playing with the same thing.

Day 24

1. I am grateful for waiting. I love to be early and I kind of like waiting. Waiting gives me peace because I know that I am on time. I really enjoy being 15 minutes early to everything. I like to use the time to think and to observe my surroundings. I am very grateful for waiting.
2. I am grateful the I have three brothers but today I am grateful two of them that are putting in our sprinklers. They are really handy to have around and I am sure they can fix anything.

3. I am grateful to Ryan for coming and teaching art to the Activity Day girls. He is so nice and kind and he really is a good teacher when he takes to time to teach. I think the girls really enjoyed this lesson.

Day 23

1. I am grateful for snow falling in the spring time. It is so pretty and just sparkles in the sun and it does not stay!
2. I am grateful when Ben and Mac play so well together. Ben is very nice to his little brother.
3. I am grateful that Anikka is finally starting to enjoy reading. It seems to have taken long enough but what a sweet corner to turn. Reading is such a fun way to pass the time. I am glad that she wants to read books now.

Day 22

1. I am grateful for foot massages. They feel so good and Ryan obliges me more often when I am pregnant. What a sweet husband.

2. I am grateful for my doctor appointments. I love to go see our Family Doctor. I love the break I get from the normal routine. I love that he has and will deliver all of our kids. I love that he is so nice and when he has a mustache he looks like Ned Flanders. He is a very good Doctor and I drive and hour to see him and have him be our Doctor.

3. Today is my Father-in-Laws Birthday and I am very grateful for him. He is such an good man. He is a major reason why my husband is a good man also. He is a strong, silent cornerstone to the Jeppesen Family. He taught his children the difference between right and wrong and how to work and to provide for their families. He mostly leads by example but if he ever gives his advice we cherish and follow it without question. We love him and all that he has given to our family.

Days 20 and 21

Day 20

1. I am very Grateful that Ryan ran a sprint triathlon yesterday. He did a very good job and ran it in 1 hour and 49 minutes. That is a much better time than he had anticipated and this was his first time. He is only a little bit sore and is right back into the swing of being the kids' jungle gym.

2. I am grateful that Ryan let me go shopping later in the day that he ran a triathlon. He really does do nice things to show me that he cares.

3. Ryan is grateful for spring breezes that allow you to open the windows and air out the winter from the house.

Day 21

1. I am grateful for good speakers at Church. I really do appreciate all the speakers and on the days when the speakers are a little bit boring it is probably that I am not in the right spirit of things but on those days when the speakers are just great to listen to and share their personal thoughts and feelings I appreciate life a little more from having listened to them.

2. I am grateful for the knowledge that people have and that they are willing to share with others. In Sunday School today our teacher did not show up so a man just hopped right up to the front of the class and began to teach us. It was a wonderful example of a life being well-lived.

3. I am very grateful for a daughter that is always the first to raise her hand and volunteer to say prayers whenever those dreaded words of "who wants to say the prayer" are spoken. I really need to follow that example that she has set.

Day 19

1. I am grateful that Mac did not soil the sheets as he slept for the first time in underwear last night. I am calling us officially potty trained and I imagine there will be a few accidents here or there but Mac is now trained.

2. I am grateful that Mac has been comparatively easy to potty train. He practically did it himself and with such good timing with the new baby.

3. I am grateful for my monthly "allowance." I really enjoy having money that is my own and that I don't have to clear where I spend it. It has also helped our marriage because I am a spender and Ryan is a saver. It has been a very good thing for us and we have done it for 9 or 10 years now.

Day 18

1. I am grateful that the new baby is moving so much. I think it is just the coolest thing to feel a baby move inside a belly. I wish my family thought it was a neat as I do. But they don't get the opportunity to feel it all the time like I do.

2. I am grateful for older siblings that can explain the basics of potty training. Ben is a good big brother.

3. I am grateful for Thursdays. Thursday has always been my favorite day. I still feel the sweet anticipation of the weekend with none of the impatience of Friday day waiting for Ryan to get off work so the weekend can officially begin. Thursday means the majority of the week is behind me. I really like Thursdays.

Day 17

1. I am very grateful that our ward has decided to start doing monthly Relief Society meetings. Our ward is so big that it is pretty essential to get together monthly so that we can get to know one another and become a stronger sisterhood.

2. I am grateful for our Enrichment Leaders' plans for the monthly meetings. She is very in tune with what will be great monthly activities for all of us.

3. I am so grateful for Ryan's talents and creativity with helping our kids with their homework. He and Anikka made a Leprechaun Trap for school. It is awesome.

On a side note, After the RS meeting last night I came home to a dirty house (still dirty from me not having cleaned it earlier.) and I said "Wow, You would think that after the day I had that I would come home to a clean house." And Mac being the smart alec kid he is replied, " I don't know what a clean house is." I do clean more often than not and the kid should know what a clean house is.

Day 16

I am having a hard time feeling grateful today. I am so pregnant and emotional and hormonal so I will have to try harder to find things to be grateful for.

1. I guess that I am grateful for the downs in life because if we did not have downs we would not have the ups. The ups are worth knowing about and having so I am grateful for feelings.

2. I am grateful to have had a FHE that went pretty well last night. The kids listened for the lesson and seemed to have learned a small inkling of what was being taught to them.

3. I am grateful for teachers that are not afraid to correct my children when they are not behaving in the right way. It is always hard to hear when your kids are less than perfect but really important to know so that we can work on the problem.

Days 13, 14, and 15

The three things that I was grateful for on Saturday are:

1. New Babies, I went to my cousins baby shower and it is nice that we are able to celebrate new babies.

2. I am grateful for Saturday cleaning. I really hate to clean but life is better when we all work together to make the house clean enough to keep up throughout the week.

3. I am super grateful for my sweet sister-in-law that agreed to watch our three kids at the last minute so we could go out with Ryan's missionary companion. Not only did Andrea agree to watch our kids she was even HAPPY about it. The kids had the best time and do not stop talking about how much fun they had. They love their little cousins and they were all so happy about their night.

Day 14

The three things that I was grateful for on Sunday are:

1. I am grateful for Church. I really like that the kids climb all over Ryan all through Sacrament Meeting and I am left alone to listen to the speakers.

2. I am grateful that the nursery leaders took Mac to his Dad when he needed to go to the bathroom with 10 minutes left until Church ended. Ryan had been dozing off a little bit and was woken up by Mac saying "that's my Daddy!"

3. I am grateful for the peace I feel in the car. I love going for drives. It is just relaxing to me and the kids are really good in the car.

Day 15

1. Today I am grateful for texting. It is nice to be short and succinct on occasion and not have to do the small talk that comes with talking on the phone.

2. I am grateful for early out Mondays. Anikka gets out of school at 1:30 on Mondays and that is a whole lot of day left to do whatever we want.

3. I am grateful for Mac's self-esteem. On the way to Ben's preschool today I hear Mac saying something in the back that sounded like "I am pretty cute". I said "Who is pretty cute?" and Mac answers with "me".

Day 12

1. I am grateful for peanut butter. It has helped me through breakfast for many months now and I think it will last me til this baby is born.

2. I am grateful that Anikka does not mind being very "bright". This morning she left for school wearing a lavender purple dress, hot pink tights, white gym shoes, green jacket, and blue gloves.

3. I am grateful for magazines. I like to read and I read to escape my life for short moments. I like that magazines are little breaks, five minutes here and there, that I can have throughout the day.

Day 11 - Ryan's Contributions

I am grateful that Brooke makes me get involved in things like posting on our family blog (that counts as one of the things I am grateful for, right?). 3 more to go.

2. Bedtimes. I am grateful for bedtimes. Kids' bedtimes, my bedtimes, all bedtimes are good bedtimes. Nothing like laying down after a (usually) long day and unwinding. Of course, bedtimes typically end up in morning times... something I'm not grateful for. We'll leave that one for the month of ungratefulness.

3. Mini-vacations. I am grateful for the times that we can go on mini-vacations as husband/wife or as a family. Getting away from the normal daily grind helps me appreciate my family. We get to see things in a little different light after being away for a few days. We haven't gone on any extended family vacations for a while, so we look forward to the time when we can do that again.

4. I am grateful for the mother and wife that Brooke is. Sometimes things get hectic at home and she feels that there is more that she should be doing. But, she has kids that are happy and that love her and look up to her as a mother. I think that is the best way to gauge the quality of the job that a mom is doing.

4a. I am somewhat grateful for the 2-ish times a year I let down my guard and be (a little) cheesy. Brooke has been trying for years to get me to do this more often. I give her Valentines day and her birthday.... that's it (and occasionally on her blog, I suppose).

Day 10

1. I am thankful for my calling in Activity Days. I am always anxious the day of and I am exhausted after it is over but it is such a great calling for me at this stage in my life and the girls are really great.
2. I am thankful that Mac is so entertaining. The new thing that he is doing lately is being other people and telling me what I should say. For example Mac goes to the bathroom and I say good job and he says "No you say good job Frodo" the names are interchangable. Sometimes it is big Anakin or Gimli or little Anakin, mostly Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. He is very funny.

3. I am grateful for the once a week playgroup that Mac and I go to. It is nice to see other mothers and to just get out of the house.

Day 9

1. I am grateful for my kids behavior when we go on outings. They also love to go places and they are well behaved when we go especially when we go in the morning. The later we wait to go the less they like to go. I am grateful for morning errands.

2. Ryan has started working out in the mornings because he is training for a mini triathalon. So while I am not entirely grateful that is is gone more often, I am grateful that he feels better and is setting a good example for all of us.

3. I am grateful to be 30 weeks pregnant today. Here's to the next 10 weeks going by quickly.

Day 8

1. I am very grateful for hot water. That 10 to 15 minutes of hot water relaxation in the morning is just wonderful.

2. I am thankful for daily learning. We all learn something new everyday and it is often hard to see that as an accomplishment but when we actually see something huge that has been learned it is a great reminder of our wonderful brains.

3. I am thankful for my brother Matt. He is a little rough around the edges but he is the first one I think to call if I am ever in need of anything, from advice on how to get something done to a emergency tow. He is the man to call.

Days 6 and 7

The things that I am most thankful for yesterday are:

1. Introducing my daughter to Girls Weekends. Eight years old is probably a little young for her to fully appreciate the sisterhood but she was really able to get the overall point.

2. I am grateful for restaurants. I love to eat out and I really love not having to clean up after the meal.

3. I am grateful to be able to change the scenery occasionally with mini trips. It is fun to be able to see new things, even in Pocatello, Idaho.

The things that I am most grateful for today are:

1. I am grateful for the feelings of accomplishment and closure of finishing a good book. I am also grateful for the fun anticipation of starting a new book whatever that may be.

2. I am grateful that I have a good sister that is very amazing and strong. I am grateful for a good mother that is such an amazing example to me of how to be a good mother and person. She is someone that truly cares about people on their base level. I am grateful to have a daughter to carry on the bond that we share as women.

3. I am grateful to come home after being away from my boys. I love them and it is nice to be able to miss one another occasionally.

Day 5

1. I am so grateful for blogs. I love to read the incredible and inspiring stories that people write about. I am so impressed with the honesty and joy and sadness and perservence that people choose to write about. Blogs help me to want to be a better mother like all of you out there.

2. I am grateful for our amazing bodies. I think the way a body adapts to building a baby is just incredible. So while I can feel my hips moving apart it is just cool that my hips can even do that to bring a new baby into this world.

3. I am grateful for short trips. This weekend Anikka and I will go up to visit Auntie Tati, (my sister Tawnya). It will be a fun little girl trip and Anikka is so looking forward to it. I hope I will just get some good rest and relaxation in.

Day 4

1. I am grateful for "late night Dates." Those are the ones that you have after you put the kids to sleep and watch a movie together while cuddleing on the couch. It is just a good thing to be able to spend time together.

2. I am grateful to have someone to cuddle with in the middle of the night when I have bad dreams. I don't have bad dreams very often but when I do it is just nice to scoot right up next to Ryan and get warm and cozy for a bit until I can get my imagination under control and go back to sleep again.

3. I am thankful to be able to sleep-in (7:30 whoo hoo) on Tuesday's and Thursday's and not have anything to rush us through our mornings. I am thankful for no rushing.

Day 3

1. I am so grateful that Ryan wakes up in the night with the kids. Mac still wakes up in the night and tries to get in our bed. Ryan is the one that takes him back to his own bed. And in the next few months Ryan will get the new baby and bring him to me so I can nurse and then take the baby back to his own bed.

2. I am grateful for pre-school. I really like the pre-school that Ben goes to. It is just a fun and happy place.

3. I am grateful for the job chart. A few weeks ago Anikka informed us that she wanted an allowance. Ryan told her that she would not get an allowance but she can get paid for jobs around the house. It has been working very well and the house is staying pretty clean.

Day 2

1. Ryan says he is very grateful that the kids greet him at the door with hugs when he gets home from work.

2. I am grateful for cereal, eggos, and granola bars. The children can get their own breakfast when they wake up at the crack of dawn.
3. I am grateful for "bed-head" hair. It is so cute and just puts a smile on my face.

So far I am feeling pretty grateful and not as onery as I usually am. I think it really does put in a person in a great frame of mind to always be looking for things to be thankful for.

Graditude

Last night I was reading the March Ensign and there was an article that suggested having a daily gratitude journal to write 3 to 5 things that you are grateful for so I am going to give it a try for at least the month of March.

1. I am grateful for where we live. I have really felt that we are where we are supposed to be. I have felt the hand of God in all of our choices of where we should live. If we had not moved to this particular area Ryan would not have gotten his new job and that has been a really good thing.

2. I am grateful for Ryan's clothes. If it weren't for his clothes I would not have anything to wear this pregnancy.

3.I am grateful that Mac is learning to potty train himself and that He pees in the toilet. I really have not pushed him in any way and he just decided to start himself one day so it has been relatively easy. We just have to get better with the number 2.

So here is to March and feeling more grateful and happier.

Romance

Ryan is many things, He is creative and talented and not at all romantic. Because we celebrate our own Valentines Day on the 7th we are very low key for the real Valentines Day. We give each other cards. I search for the raciest cards I can find and I love it when Ryan makes a home made card for me. This year he wrote me a poem and I got permission to put it up on our blog.

Dear Brooke,

A single rose has many meanings,

And the meanings run quite deep.

"A single love saved just for you,"

Or, maybe your husband's cheap.

But when its paired with a homemade card

And a custom poem to boot.

You know your hubby wants to say

Much more than "I'm saving loot!"

So yes, your husband is quite frugal

But, you've known that from the start.

Just remember on this day of love

His love comes from the heart.

So keep this poem and this card

Ever close and handy.

And know that your husband thinks

You're much more sweet than candy.

(ps Anikka helped with that last line)

Love Ryan and the kids

I guess that he is romantic but only when there is a lot of cheese and making fun of romance over all. I am grateful that he really puts a lot of thought into his semi-romantic gestures.

We were in the process of getting Ben registered for Kindergarten and needed to get his shots done. He was pretty anxious about it all and one night he said. "Mom if I am really brave for my shots will you get me something awesome?" My reply (based on the fact that Ryan is cheap) was "Hmmm I think you need to ask Dad about that because he knows all about awesome things."

Ben nodded totally agreeing with me and said "yeah and you know all about the boring things!"

So there you have it Ryan is awesome and I am boring. Ben did do well with his shots and got a traveling game of Candyland, and as of today is registered for Kindergarten.

I'm In Love

I love Ryan! I really love my husband. 12 years ago on February 7th we got engaged. We got engaged the week before Valentine's Day because I am impatient. I found out that he had already bought the ring and was going to wait another week to propose I told him that I could not wait. He accommodated me. I was so excited to marry him. I knew we would have a wonderful life together. I love that we can celebrate Valentines a week early with a fun anniversary of getting engaged. It is like having our own personal Valentines to celebrate our love.

Ryan is such an amazing person. Sometimes when you meet a new couple and one half of the couple is a little more awesome than the other, that is us. Ryan is a little more awesome. He is so incredibly talented and creative. I am always surprised at the depth of his skills. He is very smart and remembers so many things. He is a good person to his very core. He honors his Priesthood and is a shining example to our boys of what type of men they should become and to our daughter what type of man she should look for when she is older. I want to spend all of my time with him. I really am looking forward to when all the kids grow up and leave the nest then we can be just us again. Ryan is an amazing provider. I do not worry about running out of anything, I do not worry about if we will ever have to struggle financially. He just would never let that happen. Ryan has a farm boy work ethic. He will work hard to get the job done. He can also handle kid throwup much better than I can. However it is funny to see him get woozy around blood. Ryan is just well liked. People instictively like him and want to be around him. He is also very cute, with his big blue eyes and his great smile. I love his lips. I just love to sit and watch his lips while he sings. He sings very well. He is always willing to let me have breaks from the kids. He loves to be home but he is always willing to take drives with me when I just need to go somewhere. Life is just good being married to him.

Mac's Prayers

Mac has been saying his own prayers lately. They go like this
"Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for blessings,

Jesus Christ

Amen"

Sometimes he just amazes me with his vocabulary skills. It sure is handy to have an older brother and sister to learn things from.

Abundance

I went to our Stake Women's Conference today and when I got home the house was clean and I said I was so happy and it was a dream come true to come home to a clean house. Ben laughed and said "you dreamed about that? That is funny." He is a good boy.

So it was really good for me to attend the Conference. I have not been doing my part as a wife, mother, chef, teacher, house cleaner, volunteer, friend, daughter and what ever else I am supposed to be doing. I do the bare minimum of these jobs and I have been selfish about it. I am fighting giving my whole self to these things and it is not working for me. I am trying to hide parts of myself and to keep those parts only for myself. I am unbalanced and I need to find a way to become balanced and I don't know where to start. I don't want to lose myself and I don't really know what I am trying not to lose. The guest speaker was Emily Freeman who has written some beautiful books, her latest is called The Promise of Enough; Seven Principles of True Abundance. Her talk was so beautiful and inspiring and I cried through most of it. I think I might need to read that book because it sounds like it would improve me and my flawed thinking. I have a hard time giving anything. I just want to run and hide and just get through the the day. I do not desire to be proactive and instead I just want to left alone. It is not working and I have been trying it "my way" for two years now so I really know that what I am doing is not working. My biggest problem is how well I can rationalize anything. So I tell myself when I am done being pregnant I can do more, I will be better. My other problem and this a big one that I have had for most of my life is I really don't know what I want. So I take the easy way out by being ornery and complaining and not doing anything about bettering myself. I am doing just enough but that is not helping me grow into a better person. I have been thinking a lot about the scripture in Matthew 10:39, "he that findeth his life shall lose it" (I feel okay there because I don't feel like I have found my life yet so I haven't lost it.) "and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." This is where there is a conflict inside me. It is hard for me to imagine giving up everything of myself to another to find myself. I guess that I am not taking this correctly because I think of it as service. I need to serve my family in all perfect ways 100% of the time and lose myself in the service of my fellow beings. I just don't think I can do it well so I don't want to do it at all. I don't feel like am making any sense and this is all just a bunch of jumbled up words, but I am trying to figure out a good way to go about my life and to be balanced. I need to find balance, I need to serve more, I need to be there for others, I need to not hide away. I am working on this. I think I need an entire lifetime to work on this. I am so grateful that I have things in my life that help me in my journey of my life. I have the most amazing examples of motherhood and women hood in the women around me, in my ward and on these blogs that I read. I am impressed on a daily basis of these examples of Motherhood and how everyone cares so much for their children and the happiness they find in life and family. My Mother is the most unselfish person that I have ever met and my Mother-in-law raised five spectacular children. I hope I can raise my children half as well as they have. Thank you all for teaching and inspiring me and helping learn to become a better person each day.

Just Tired

Well, if the first days of 2010 are any indication it is going to be a really sleepless year for me. I know that is a totally wild prediction what with me being 22 weeks pregnant and already uncomfortable and then having a newborn in May and all of the sleep deprivation that comes with that.

Mac is giving me fits with his sleeping schedule. He usually goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and then is up and in our bed at 4 or 5. Luckily he has started going back to sleep so that is nice but the moment Anikka's alarm goes off at 6 he is out of bed to spend some quality one on one time with his sister. Mac has also decided to name his new little brother, Kookaburra. That is a brand of licorice that I like and received as a present for Christmas. Mac is very cute in the way he talks to the new baby. He is so much more interested in the baby in my belly than his siblings were. The other two didn't care too much about their impending siblings until they were here and they could hold them.

Ben is being 5 and a little wild. He seems to be in the middle of every fight and it is never his fault. He is a lot of fun to play Wii games with. We love Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones.

After months of begging I let Anikka get bangs. She looks like a whole different kid. She is happy with it so I guess that what matters.

So we are looking at boy names and here are four that we like lately and probably in this order.

1. Xander

2. Cooper

3. Thomas

4. James

I would love opinions on these and other suggestions along those lines.

I am getting very excited for Ryan's new job. I think he is as well. He is so excited about being able to do so many things. He gets to plan, start, do, and complete every new project that is needed. He gets to go on a work trip to a trade show at the end of January and He was thrilled to be included. This new job feels like such a blessing in our lives and it should continue to be such an amazing thing in the future. We are grateful for this good opportunity and for this fun year that we have ahead for us.