Freaked Out

I received a call from Heber Valley Medical Center yesterday to pre-register me for delivery, this is the hospital where I will have this baby and the hospital where all of our other kids were born. They called me because "their records show that I am due to have a baby next month." I said "well, yes in May, Wait that is next month." Insert a slightly hysterical giggle. I am having a baby NEXT MONTH and I feel so ill prepared. I am getting physically ready to get the baby out of my body but I am so not ready to bring him home. To be responsible for another new little life. To have FOUR kids. Four seems like a lot of kids. I don't even really have a name for him yet, just a lot of names that we are throwing around but nothing is sticking for sure yet. I am not nesting at all. The crib is not even up, to be fair we just moved Ben and Mac together last week and so we have to finish with that move before we start on the baby's room. I guess that I just don't feel ready at all, mostly scared. I am sure that it is just anxiety about the unknown. Will he be a good baby? Will Mac be nice to him? Will we ever make it once to Disneyland when the kids can all remember it? Well I guess that it is a lucky thing that I still have a month or so to get prepared and to find a name and get us all to a good place and welcome this baby to our family because we are stuck with each other and we wouldn't want it any other way.